The Eclipse
Every now and then, I end up watching a movie that messes with my head, but not because of clever plot twists and surprise endings. No, these movies mess with my head because about over halfway into the film, I realize I have no fucking idea what is going on. Whoever wrote the synopsis of said film tends to embellish certain themes and plots in the film. This was the case with "The Eclipse". I don't have too many issues with this film, as it was beautifully shot and had a solid cast. But, while it's listed as a horror film, it plays more like a standard drama. In fact, I found myself forgetting that there were horror elements lurking about that when they did occur, I ended up ripping out the headphones and jerking away the iPod in genuine terror. (By the way - Netflix app = greatest thing ever.) The horror moments were tossed in such innocuous moments of tranquility that I truly did not see them coming. You know how most horror movies like to employ the use of music to warn us that danger is lurking nearby? Yeah, forget about that device.
Just so you can fully understand the experience, imagine you're relaxing and listening to a piece of soft, soothing music. You're very very peaceful and mellow, not a care in the world and OMG WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT??
See? Jarring, isn't? Eventually by the second time of falling for this, I remained on edge the rest of the film. That is to say, the rest of the film that barely skimmed the horror events. By the time the screen faded, I found myself stunned, wondering what the hell had just happened. Either the Irish are more subtle about their suspicions of ghostly presences than I am used to, or Synopsis Writer was having a laugh. Well done, on all parties involved.
Chh-chh-chh-changes!
I know, annoying title. Ha!
Somewhere in between my last blog post and this one, I've been on vacation and playing subsequent catch-up. And in between the catch-up, I decided I had enough shit from MovableType. I have a low tolerance for fixing shit. Well...not really, if you consider I've been with MovableType since I moved from having my code in Italian. Ah, back in the day...
Anyway, there was something that just irked the shit out of me, and that was the final straw. Not that I can remember what it was, but it was probably something minor considering the other issues I've worked through. So now I'm on WordPress, which was a surprisingly easy switch. Of course, the design aspects are the ones that tend to irk me the most, so I imagine those will change as well. It seems that in the digital world as in life, I can't sit still very long.
Also, some of my posts have some tiny font syndrome...not sure WHAT is up with that. One more thing to fix!
Reflections
So I've had a bit of a hiatus. Not sure what I've been doing, as all the days have seemed to clump together. There was some podcasting and some swimming and some holidays and some sickness and a lot of work, but for the most part...eh. I was thinking during the drive home today -- well, thinking and paying close attention to the traffic, of course -- and really reflecting on my life as I'm prone to do at times. It occurred to me that I didn't used to be so crazy. (Crazy in the lovable yet somewhat self-disruptive way that I am). I remember simple things, like an uncomfortable feeling about heights, but none of these weird phobias about elevators and bridges and escalators. Heck, heights in video games can make me woozy now. In many ways, I've come out of a bit of a shell that I was in during my teens and early 20s. But now...what happened? What causes a grown woman to suddenly see elevators as death traps? Or have such issues trying anything new that it's a big production just to do it? WHEN DID I GET SO DULL?? Sure, I should be asking my doc these questions, but I tend to forget I have issues when my appointment rolls around. I'm taking this opportunity to tell myself to knock it the hell off. Sure, having issues was fun while it lasted, but I need to move on to something else. So brain -- you are officially on notice.
Insurance. A Love Story
Near the end of last year, after being faced with rising insurance costs, I decided to do some comparisons between the policies offered to myself and the mister. As it turns out, both our respective employers offered insurance with the same major insurance company, which I never actually cared for, but that makes it an easy enough switch, right? (As for my impartiality to the insurance company, that happened years ago when they attempted to tell me that my pancreatitis was a pre-existing condition. That was before it became cool -- and legal -- to deny claims based on so-called pre-existing conditions. Unfortunately, in this case, I nearly died from my pancreas being a dick to me, so if it had been existing longer than what it did, I would not be alive to complain about it. This argument to the insurance rep led to an awkward silence and a soft "oh". Nice try.)
Now what should have been a relatively easy switch has been a complete and utter nightmare. It's still causing problems six months later. First, there were the various doctors' offices, who could not understand "This is a NEW policy." EVERY TIME I went or took the kids to the doctor, I'd end up with a letter from the billing department stating that my old policy was invalid. OF COURSE IT IS, YOU TWITS! I'd call up the billing department and tell them "for the 100th time, this is NEW. Not a secondary. Shit, pretend the old policy doesn't even exist!" I'd get the standard apology and an assurance that they'd "fix" the problem and resubmit the claim.
The problem is, after this happened a good amount of times, the insurance company was getting a bit suspicious. They soon began sending letters as well, asking if anyone in the family was covered by another policy.
This is quite an easy concept really. See, I even made a picture to demonstrate:
For the life of me, I don't understand why the insurance company is having a difficult time understanding this now. I feel like calling up and screaming "For Fuck, it's the SAME company! Put it in your computer and figure it out!" I mean, c'mon now! I understand if I switched companies, but I didn't! Same one! New policy! Simple, see???
If the insurance company doesn't figure out this soon, I swear I will send them that picture. I sure hope this is the last time I have to switch policies within a company. I've never had this much trouble before, even switching from company to company.
Mental Paradox
If there were one major roadblock that keeps me from accomplishing what I need to, it would be myself. I guess that's the case for a lot of people. For me, it's because my brain likes to function in completely contradicting ways. Lately, the things that I absolutely loathe have become necessities for me to get anything done, and this is messing with me. For example, I freaking hate "To Do" lists. Hate them with every ounce of hate that I can throw at them. I had a bad experience once, you see. Or maybe a bad experience for several years. Eegh. So I'm reticent to grab a piece of paper and write anything on it that even slightly resembles a collection of things that require some activity on my behalf. Yet, I've discovered that my short term memory is absolute shit, so if I am going to get things done, I had to write it down. I keep pads of paper all over the the place and I'm a huge fan of Evernote, where I have lists galore of various projects I want to do. Note: want to do, not have done. Ah, there in lies the issue. I suck at time management. Always have. I'm usually late to appointments or ridiculously early, depending. If it's something that I absolutely must be on time for, there is a whole mental/anxiety component on my getting there. And that's when I'm ridiculously early. But getting to a place on time or a nice, comfortable 5 minutes early? Damn near impossible for me. I lack some vital component of my dna that keeps me on track and gets me out the door on time. So here is how it all ties in: I have things I must do (go to work, shower, take care of the animals), things I need to do (clean the house, do laundry) and things I want to do (exercise, read, start and finish some of those projects). In any given day I have to choose between the needs and wants. It's not a matter of doing everything I need to do; wants do win out from time to time. But when I don't get the needs done, I feel unproductive. When I don't get the wants done, I feel like I'm wasting away my life doing menial chores. Boo hoo, right? Sigh. After much introspective thinking and discussing with the man, who has a wonderful talent of keeping me grounded right when I feel like my world is caving in, we both came to the same solution: despite my ingrained disgust for lack of spontaneity, I have to start scheduling my days out. Unless I block out times for everything, nothing is going to get done. I never thought of the type to have schedules to stay organized. It always seemed so awful. There is a major appeal to me to wake up each day and not know what I'm going to do. In fact, when I do make plans, I tend to freak out mere minutes later thinking I ruined whatever awesomeness could have potentially happened that day. Yet, I have to admit to myself that this chaos that I embrace is truly getting me know where. How can I be creative when half of my brain is focused on the floor that needs sweeping or the laundry that needs doing or the walk I could be on right now if I wasn't so unbelievably tired? I'm going to try it. I'm not sure how long I can keep it up, but if it drastically improves my productivity and makes me a more relaxed person, then it's worth a shot.
Dear Thieves
Okay, so you got me again. You stole my lawn mower. You are a master backyard burglar. I am awed with your thievery.
However... Let's talk about this lawn mower, shall we? For starters, I didn't even pay for it to begin with. It was a hand-me-down lawn mower. I haven't the slightest idea how old it was. So, no monetary loss there.
Second, it was sitting outside since the day I got it, uncovered. It's been out there in the rain and in the snow, unprotected from the elements. It was rusty as all get out.
Third, the blades were pretty dull. To cut one section of grass required multiple goes. Granted, I have a small backyard, but mowing should have taken a few minutes instead of a half-hour.
So what you have now is an old, rusty, hand-me-down lawn mower that doesn't work well. Yeah, HAVE FUN WITH THAT ONE.
Oh...and one more thing. See, we haven't cleaned the backyard in a few weeks. Been too busy doing other stuff. So I know for a fact that there's no way in hell that you were able to dodge the copious amounts of dog shit piles in the yard. And lately, my dogs have taken to shitting on the sidewalk as well. Trust me, shit dodging is a real pain in the ass, and I'm even aware that it's there. But you...in my backyard...with the lights off...Heh. Oops?
Let's see the final score: You: 1 piece of shit lawnmower, and dog-shit covered shoes. Me: Rid of a piece of shit lawn mower, and getting a good laugh out of it. Hmmm...I think I win this one.
And in case you're the bastard who stole my garbage cans two years ago, I'm pretty sure there's a special place in Hades for people like you. I'd scope out the yards on this one too, but again, I'm not 100% sure what it looked like. I need to start taking pictures and labeling stuff better.
Passion, and lack thereof
One of the problems with having such an easily distracted mind and one that has fragmented attention on multiple things at once is finding that one thing that I feel really passionate about. I have plenty of interests and half-hobbies, but I get bored and move onto to something new fairly regularly. Honestly, I think the last time I felt completely immersed in one topic may have been when I was a theatre nerd back in high school. Since then, I haven't had the ability to keep my interest level up long enough to feel immersed. I don't know if it's just a poor attention span or some sort of reluctance to be "that person". You know, like crazy cat lady or crazy collector of goofy-themed memorabilia. I don't want one thing to define me, but it would be nice to have one thing to feel driven to do. Conflicting, perhaps. Maybe I need to keep jumping from thing to thing until something clicks? Or maybe I need to pick something I already like and put the time and energy into building the passion? I spend a lot of time reading and listening to Merlin Mann's 43Folders, which I find extremely motivating, but yet I have not found something to apply it to. I want to make something cool. I want to be more creative. I have lists of projects and ideas in Evernote but I either haven't started on them, or I started and haven't finished. I tend to complain about not having enough time, but honestly, I suck at time management. More time would only result in more effing around on things that would not assist me in being productive or creative. I need to find that spark. I need to brainstorm some more until I feel a click and that fire ignites in me.
Just so you know
A while ago, I was reading a summary of a conference I didn't attend, and there was a comment made by a particular blogger who makes more money than me. And who has more visitors. And...I'm sure there's a lot of 'ands'. The comment made reference to the 'character' created for the blog, essentially the author as a character. There is a lot of truth to this statement, as we cannot expect the writers of the blogs we so love and enjoy to be completely transparent. There needs to be a sort of distance or veil, if for nothing else but the semblance of a private world away from the computer. So for the record, I would like everyone to understand the character that is "Monkey". Monkey wears a pope hat all day, cause there are few other hats in existence that command such awe and respect. Monkey thinks pants are optional; after all, all eyes with be on the aforementioned pope hat, so what difference would pants make? Monkey does an excellent William Shatner impression, which is so goddamn impressive when you consider Monkey is a female. Monkey likes to speak softly and when that fails, she smacks people with the big stick she always carries. Sometimes she low-talks just for an excuse to smack a bitch with a stick. Monkey once considered a profession in the jazz hands industry; a year into formal schooling, she discovered there is no such thing as a professional jazz hander. This explained the "school" in the run-down warehouse and the professor that smelled like gym socks and beef jerky. Don't ask Monkey about the "jazz hands incident", or you'll end up getting a beating from the stick. Well, there it is. If you ever run across a pantsless, stick-brandishing woman in a pope hat, you can take a deep breath and relax. (Actually, don't do that. Run. Clearly that person is a few fries short of a Happy Meal.)
Red Hook
This is a movie so unbelievably bad that I had to take notes during it. Yes, spoilers galore. But hey, turn it on Netflix Watch Instantly and suffer along.
* Oh look. The setup. Either she's being stalked as a teen or she'll end up fucking nuts.
* WTF? Are these a bunch of late 20s- early 30s trying to pass as 18 yr olds??
* We've got the drama stereotype, the whore, the whore lesbian. Missing the token diversity - oh wait, nevermind.
* This soundtrack licks balls. sweaty, smelly balls.
* Ah, this guy lost his brother. We have a connection! A love connection!
* This is ny. Of course there's a robbery. And of course these two freaks happen to be there.
* New theory - damaged guy is the killer. And his brother was the killer from before.
* Do this many people really go gaga over the white stripes?
* Okay bitch, your sister was killed years ago. Get over it psycho!
* They make drugs for this, I'm almost certain of it.
* Aggh! Crazy handheld camera guy again! How does no one notice this fuckface?
* Gavin has got to be fuckface.
* Ooh text message! How hip! How now!
* Ra is gonna bite it soon.
* Bad guy wears a tie! Oooh!
* Dudes doing dudes enjoy the outdoors? WhAt?
* These people suck at sex.
* This acting is painful. Okay, act confused. Okay, now act angry. Wait, you didn't change your emotion.
* Uh oh! Creepy shadow. All of the sudden.
* Did 5 mins get edited out of the film? What the hell are they talking about?
* Oooh...valley girl goth. "Okay, in this scene, you are clearly irritated and bored with these people. Yes, feel free to employ every cliche in the book to show the audience that you're bored."
* Ooh, a finger. No one panic. Except the crazy chick.
* This script must have been written by a guy...just based on how the "lesbian" character is written.
* What, are they in some space time vortex where it suddenly becomes night?
* Hmmm...a guy and a woman wrote the script.
* The problem with this movie is the lack of ninja kicking. Well, it's one of many problems. But seriously. Man with knife. Ninja kick. In the nuts.
* "Well. We've arrived at the destination. Let's not look around or anything. No clue here."
* Yeah, throwing shoes at dogs IS awesome. Dumbass.
* Another question comes to mind...how is sweatshirt guy avoiding blood splatter?
* I forgot who this Gavin guy is and why this chick is so obsessed with finding him.
* When you hear knocking on your trunk, you should NEVER open it.
* FINALLY. A GODDAMN NINJA KICK!
* I love fake technology. And bad guys with the ability to magically show up in places despite the laws of physics.
* I still say Gavin is fuckface. I don't trust him.
* Well that was predictable.
podcasting
stalk me (not really)
sometimes i take pictures
do some of this
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The News…or not.
I love technology. I do. But I will openly admit that advances in technology have led to often-times too much information to sort through. I keep a modest-sized list in Reader that I can barely every keep up with. I don't read many blogs. Maybe I go to CNN or NYT every now and then. I don't watch the news. I try to ignore trending Twitter topics. Yet, despite my very non-connected tendencies, I still feel like I get hit with information overload. News sites aren't merely news sites any more. They have to compete with gossip blogs and the speed of 140 characters. They need the traffic, so they try to encompass a wider variety of topics. I get this. It's evolution for the sake of survival. One of the most useless feature on news sites' is the comments area. Sure, engage the public. Start the conversation. Have you listened to the public though? Only a small percentage has anything worth while to say. The rest punch in pointless comments to troll, argue, or to get some of their own attention. Of all the pointless comments floating on the news sites, my favorite is probably "Why is this news?". I'm sure you've seen WITN guy before. I feel bad for WITN guy. He clearly does not get it. He's clinging to some fantasy world of news only being things that could potentially affect him in some manner. Wake up, guy! The world is not like that any more. There are no reporters trying to get the scoop. There are no Bernsteins and Woodwards working at your local affiliate station. "Boy saves kitten from python" and "Clay Aiken is still gay; visits local Target" is all the cutting edge your city is mustering. What is baffling about WITN guy is the fact that no one is forcing him to read certain stories. There is no bait and switch here. "Paris Hilton" is not code for "Huge cover-up in DC uncovered by local reporter". And yet, he clicks. And reads. And feels the need to comment with his pseudo-intellectual manner "Why is this news??" Well guy, in the grand scheme of things, Kate Gosselin's alleged tit job ISN'T news, but the fact of the matter remains that you clicked on the headline "Kate Gosselin Boob Job". So who's the bigger boob? Related to WITN guy is the cousin by marriage, "Who??". "Who" is the person on the gossip sites that, when faced with a post about someone they don't know, never heard of, or clearly disapprove of said person's fame, will always comment with a "Who??". "Who" is always in the loop of all that is cutting edge, so if they don't know someone, they are not worth knowing about. After so many posts about the same disapproved person, "Who" grows weary and begins to plead "Please stop posting about [fill in the blank]". Even though "Who" doesn't own the site, if "Who" is bored with someone we should all follow suit, right? People of the internet: You control what you read. No one is forcing you to read about anything you deem unimportant. In the time it took to make an account and post your disapproval about a story, you could have done something more productive, like whacked one off.