How to make a bad shark movie

1. The Kick. Open with a random killing that no one seems too concerned about.
2. The Hero. Stick with a formula. Either go with the rogue "bad ass" with a shady past, or the fun-loving "good guy" type out to save mankind.
3. The Brain...Oh, Never mind. Have the obligatory marine biologist, but use the "dingy woman" character who will immediately flirt with the hero and who is completely unbelievable as any type of scientist.
4. The Villain. No. It's not the shark. This is the corrupt politician or business man who is out to make money and will disregard anything the hero says, forcing the hero to make some pseudo-philosophical statement about how the villain is an ass.
5. The Quality. Budget got you down? Don't worry. Just use stock footage of some guy fishing shot on Super 8mm circa 1970. The audience won't notice the glaring difference between the shots.
6. The Shark. Make sure you have it look as fake as possible. Rubber is good. Have all attack shots just close ups of the teeth. Add in some over the top crunching noises. And make the shark make an audible "roaring" sound- because that's EXTRA scary.
7. The Shark Part II. Need a bigger shark? Of course, there's ALWAYS a mama shark. (Especially good for types of white sharks who are just so well known for their maternal instincts. sarcasm) Just use footage of a white shark and super-impose boats by it to make it look huge.
8. The Sidekick. Have him ex-military for more punch. And slightly crazy. He'll try to save the day and either get eaten or fail.
9. The Plan. The plan is so crazy that the hero can't find words to describe it. He just has to move and move quickly. When it comes down to it, the plan is actually quite simple and there are no excuses as to why the hero was unable to communicate it.
10. Karma. Because we all know that in life, bad guys NEVER get ahead. Their evil ways will ALWAYS come back to bite them in the ass...no pun intended.
11. The Punchline. Add in a few groaners, like "Chew on this!". We all know we'd be so witty if a shark was trying to eat us, so indulge us. This line is all the more powerful if uttered by the useless biologist who just spent the last 5 minutes screaming helplessly for the hero to save her.
12. The Setup for the Sequel, a.k.a, Nature comes out on top. The shark was annihilated, right? It was the only one of its kind, right? Or was it... ???
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The Motorcycle Diaries

After having this movie in my possession for over 4 months and desperate not to have another "Hero" incident, I finally forced myself to find the time to watch this movie. I suppose my motivation for renting it was based both on word of mouth and my tendency to rent foreign films for the hell of it.Unfortunately, my husband is not much of a subtitle fan, so finding the spare time to watch such movies is a bit of an obstacle. Admittedly, I wasn't entirely sure what to expect from this movie.Based on the diary of Ernesto Guevaro, it chronicles the journey of Ernesto and friend Alberto Granado across South America in the 1950s. It started out well, but after 10 minutes or so, I felt as though I was sitting through a series of scenes involving two guys falling off a motorcycle in various fashions, which subsequently leads to the motorcycle breaking.Sure, there were bits of action in between these falls, but the first hour seemed to be entirely dominated by this. After awhile it was tiring and predictable and slightly painful to watch. The movie went up in my opinion during the second half. Motorcycle no longer in the picture, it allowed time to see some character development.Combining some absolutely beautiful background scenery with truly interesting characters that Ernesto and Alberto come across in their journey allows for a glimpse of the evolution of Ernesto. At this point, it no longer was about two guys falling off a motorcycle repeatedly, but about the journey and the experience.