Monkey Thoughts

After digging my car out of the snow this morning, I made a quick stop to the grocery store. I walked into the store and starting picking up the goods I wanted when I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. As I shoved my hand in my pocket to retrieve it, my fingers brushed against the packet of hot cocoa mix that I had put in there on the way. This would be the same individual packet that I had purchased from the very store a few days ago. Immediately I panicked. What if someone checked my pockets? How would I get out of that one once they discovered I had a packet of cocoa with no receipt. My mind started spinning around all the scenarios and possibilities and what I would say.
Then it occurred to me.
It's a 33 ¢ packet of cocoa.
Why the hell would they search me for it? It's not like I was walking around and sticking shit in my pockets.

I think my mental issues are a great source of self entertainment.

I freaking love my birthday.
It's like a national celebration of me.
WOO! BIRTHDAY!

But I have to say...I'm feeling a little ripped off. Nothing cool comes with 29. Except maybe a discount on my car insurance. I don't get any special powers though. Not that I did last year either. *sigh*

Faux Fur Often Dog Hair

I'm staring suspiciously at the coat my mom bought, which has a bit of faux fur on the hood. Bleck.

I was afraid when I picked this up that it would be the same old shit. I mean, honestly, how many times can you rehash the same setup? (Apparently, at least four.) Surprisingly enough, I thought they did this in a well enough departure from the other two films. The beginning of the films have been notorious for the gruesome scenes, and Saw III will not disappoint in that aspect. In fact, it didn't disappoint several times. After the first few minutes, I was feeling rather nauseated and doing the total girly hiding my eyes behind my hand trick. I wouldn't say this one had a twist of an ending per se, but I felt a little duped. Knowing what the whole premise of the Saw antics was supposed to be based on, this movie kinda lessened the impact of the other two and yet, the "lesson" in this one was more substantial than the others. First Saw I was like "Whoa, Shit!". Second Saw, I was like "Whoa ho ho!" This one, I was like "I knew it! Wait, what?"
But hey, that aside, I did like it better than Saw II. There were more cringe-inducing torture devices, and cringe I did. I'd say I can't imagine how they came up with some of this stuff, but from what I read, they did some research into medieval torture devices. Ew.

Napping at work a good thing

I can't tell you how many times I've said we needed a nap time at work. Now it appears we really DO need a nap time for the interest of our health.

My favorite line:

It is likely that women reap similar benefits from napping, but not enough of them died during the study to be sure

The guy sounded almost disappointed that not enough women died. Nice!

Man Claims to be both Christ and the Anti-Christ in a span of several months

Emily and I were wondering how the hell a man who is an admitted former heroin junkie gains enough fans to justify world tours.
I said crack in the punch, but I'm thinking perhaps it's China white.

Man, this has taken mind boggling to a rather painful level.

And that "de Jesus" thing? Totally made up.

I was watching "The Fan" the other day. Nice crazy DeNiro. I hadn't seen it in a while, so it completely slipped my mind that the soundtrack was comprised of the Rolling Stones and Nine Inch Nails. Ah yes...THAT song...

Though I had initially liked it in "The Hitcher", a second viewing found that the same scene didn't have quite the impact it had on me the first time around. So, I had to reconsider my feelings on "The Hitcher" and take this time to make a desperate plea to music supervisors/directors.

Please, please stop with the NIN's "Closer". We get it. It's dark. It sounds "spooky" and "disturbing". The beat is very catching. And the whole fucking like an animal thing...it makes us feel all dirty inside. But it is not needed for every damn movie with a character that is seriously screwed up in the head. There are plenty of other good songs out there and, yes, other great NIN songs if that's the route you wish to take. But please...let's "retire" this one from the movie vocabulary, else it shall become a movie cliche much like the villain not really being dead (ie, the final "jump" scene) or the dumb pun for the kill cliche.

-There is nothing quite as unnerving as attempting to eat frozen yogurt in front of my cats. It's an almost impossible feat and if one succeeds it is done while being glared at.

-I just found out today that Chilean sea bass is neither Chilean, nor a sea bass.

-I kinda feel sorry for this guy.

That is all.

So the resemblance is not quite there...

BUT I GOT A SWORD:

I'm not entirely sure what the hell is wrong with me sometimes, but I don't think I'm "all there" so to speak.

The other day, I received a text message from my brother which stated that he had seen me on the news. I immediately thought "Oh shit, they found me!" and had a few seconds of genuine panic. I had no idea who "they" might be, or what the hell I would possibly be in trouble for, but I panicked nonetheless. Then it occurred to me to maybe ask what for, as I didn't recall being around any news cameras recently. (Turns out I was, just not aware of it.)

Then there was the incident about 2 weeks ago. I was attempting to call my mom during an ice storm and got the "all circuits are busy" message. Do I think "Hmm...must be because of the storm?" No, of course not. I think "Shit! The zombie apocalypse is here!"

There are times that I feel not one rational thought runs through my head.

And then there was the issue I had yesterday with the date. I kept trying to date my checks in January. Yet I couldn't remember just what date in January it was. What the hell have been doing the past few weeks that I erased a whole month out of my mind? A birthday month, no less. Course, it was 3 AM when that happened.

I still don't have an explanation for the other things though.

I was recently contacted by an acquaintance of mine who does the whole real estate thing. We were talking shop and I admitted to him my reservations about owning a house. When he asked what my hesitation was, I said "I have a fear of commitment."
He then pointed out how weird that was, considering that I am married and have two kids.
I paused for a moment and answered with "Yeah...not sure how that happened." Such is the contradiction that I am.

While I think it would be nice to be able to paint a room red with metallic stripes if I damn well wanted to, I tend to think about the bigger picture. The bigger picture meaning "I'd be stuck in the same damn place for a loooong time." It's not like I have any plans to move anywhere, but I like to have that option, I think. And plus, if something breaks I wouldn't know the first thing about it. Wiring, plumbing, roofing, termites. No freaking clue. And what if I buy a house and then 10 years from then the neighborhood turns to ass? See, this is what I think about. I'm just not ready to take that plunge yet and I keep convincing myself that over and over. One day I may give in. Just not yet.