If there were one major roadblock that keeps me from accomplishing what I need to, it would be myself. I guess that’s the case for a lot of people. For me, it’s because my brain likes to function in completely contradicting ways. Lately, the things that I absolutely loathe have become necessities for me to get anything done, and this is messing with me. For example, I freaking hate “To Do” lists. Hate them with every ounce of hate that I can throw at them. I had a bad experience once, you see. Or maybe a bad experience for several years. Eegh. So I’m reticent to grab a piece of paper and write anything on it that even slightly resembles a collection of things that require some activity on my behalf. Yet, I’ve discovered that my short term memory is absolute shit, so if I am going to get things done, I had to write it down. I keep pads of paper all over the the place and I’m a huge fan of Evernote, where I have lists galore of various projects I want to do. Note: want to do, not have done. Ah, there in lies the issue. I suck at time management. Always have. I’m usually late to appointments or ridiculously early, depending. If it’s something that I absolutely must be on time for, there is a whole mental/anxiety component on my getting there. And that’s when I’m ridiculously early. But getting to a place on time or a nice, comfortable 5 minutes early? Damn near impossible for me. I lack some vital component of my dna that keeps me on track and gets me out the door on time. So here is how it all ties in: I have things I must do (go to work, shower, take care of the animals), things I need to do (clean the house, do laundry) and things I want to do (exercise, read, start and finish some of those projects). In any given day I have to choose between the needs and wants. It’s not a matter of doing everything I need to do; wants do win out from time to time. But when I don’t get the needs done, I feel unproductive. When I don’t get the wants done, I feel like I’m wasting away my life doing menial chores. Boo hoo, right? Sigh. After much introspective thinking and discussing with the man, who has a wonderful talent of keeping me grounded right when I feel like my world is caving in, we both came to the same solution: despite my ingrained disgust for lack of spontaneity, I have to start scheduling my days out. Unless I block out times for everything, nothing is going to get done. I never thought of the type to have schedules to stay organized. It always seemed so awful. There is a major appeal to me to wake up each day and not know what I’m going to do. In fact, when I do make plans, I tend to freak out mere minutes later thinking I ruined whatever awesomeness could have potentially happened that day. Yet, I have to admit to myself that this chaos that I embrace is truly getting me know where. How can I be creative when half of my brain is focused on the floor that needs sweeping or the laundry that needs doing or the walk I could be on right now if I wasn’t so unbelievably tired? I’m going to try it. I’m not sure how long I can keep it up, but if it drastically improves my productivity and makes me a more relaxed person, then it’s worth a shot.