In no particular order, with no rhyme or reason, I’ve concocted a list of people I’d like to have over for dinner. All alive. Cause dead would be too easy. (Er…I mean, choosing dead people to eat dinner with. Yeck.)

• Christopher Walken. The man suggested this one. We think he would make an interesting guest. I find that I can’t help but giggle even when he’s not trying to be funny. So it’d be a dinner with me giggling unnecessarily.
• Sarah Palin. I have a theory that she’s just fucking with all of us. No one can be as dumb as she comes off, can they? I mean, I’ve known some dumbasses in my time, but this is ridiculous. It MUST be an act. Right?? Although lately I feel weirdly sorry for her. Either way, I figure we could hang out and talk about moose. Maybe she’s all normal when she’s not politicking.
• Clint Eastwood. Do I even need to explain this one? I mean, it’s Clint Eastwood. Despite the fact that I’d probably be too terrified to look him in the eye cause I’m skittish like that, it would still be awesome if not painfully awkward.
• Nicolas Sarkozy. He’s French, so you know the dinner party would be hopping. And I bet he’s a funny drunk. Only problem is, I don’t speak French. But I’m pretty sure I can fake it if he’s drunk enough. Or if I’m drunk enough.
• Zach Galifianakis. Cracks my shit up. And I have a theory that he’s probably deadpan serious in person. Which would end up being funnier.
• Tom Savini. Also terrifies me. I’d have him over the same day as Clint Eastwood so it would be one hell of an awkward situation. I’d probably end up sobbing at the dinner table and then running away to hide in my closet. Masochist? Yeah, maybe. But think of the story I could tell afterwards.
• Eve Ensler. We could have tea, finger sandwiches, and talk about vaginas. And freak my husband out.
• Kanye West. He grew on me. This is one of those instances in which Twitter has improved my opinion of someone. Well, Twitter and jokes. Regardless, I think there is no denying he would make for an interesting dinner guest.
• Ramona Singer. In the first season of Real Housewives of New York, I didn’t care for Ramona. But now she’s delightfully kooky. Do the math. Ramona + Pinot Grigio + Turtle Time = One Awesome Rocking Night.