We’ve got a badass over here!

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See that white car back there? Do not eff with them. This person was single-handedly taking on ALL the traffic! The lane was merging up ahead of us, as it has been for months now, and the line was waaaay back behind us. As is typical, someone gets impatient and attempts to cut the line by pulling over to the right and merging back over to the left closer to the merge point. I guess this saves 5 minutes or so, but it’s a totally dick move. I usually protest by not letting those particular offenders back over. But anonymous in the white car was not going to stand by idly and protest so quietly. He or she pulled over so their car was over the white divider. When I first noticed I thought “surely they aren’t attempting to block traffic”, but as another driver maneuvered around the white car, the vigilante of the traffic raised not one but two middle fingers to show their distaste. The white car pulled further into the right lane and soon had two lanes of traffic behind it. Other drivers were getting fed up with this one lonely citizen policing the traffic and soon one car after another were swerving around the white car. Each were treated to hands being thrown up in exasperation and duo middle finger salutes. I chuckled watching the whole ordeal. It was traffic anarchy; a revolt against a tyrannical police state of one car. Viva la revolution! And no, I am not letting you over. Turds.
Oh, dear Vigilante. While I appreciate your motivation here, a dick move does not null out another dick move. It’s not your job to parent all the other drivers, and if you’re going to insist on doing it anyway you need a much wider vehicle, m’kay?

4 thoughts on “We’ve got a badass over here!

  1. If you don’t already make your living writing, you should. As far as I’m concerned anyway. Please sign me up for your newsletter, mailing list for your next book, etc. Oh, and by the way, I love your GOMI comments, Miz Monsoon. More please.

    • Aw, thank you. I am totally going to frame your comment. And one day I think I will write my memoirs. I already have the title – “Young and Stupid”.

  2. I have a love hate relationship about people who block the traffic. I’m never the one flying up alongside the cars (I’m afraid someone will follow me home and kill me if I do) so I give a little fistpump to the people who block their way.

    However, one time about two years ago, I was caught in a traffic jam and started to have pretty bad car trouble. When I tried to pull off the highway, someone pulled half out into the emergency lane. I will admit that I could be perceived as one of those flying-up-to-the-next-exit jerk, but it was really an emergency!

    So, dear mr-or-mrs-lane-blocker, be warned if your blocking involves the emergency lane!

  3. Pingback: The Reverse Badass - the Ass...bad? | MonkeyThoughtsMonkeyThoughts

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