Monkey Thoughts

My Loony Bun Is Fine

2008-08-28T04:56:49Z

I may be extra giggly tonight, following an email from one of my brothers that can only be described as something a drunk person would pen, except there's a 95% chance he was completely sober at the time. Then I received this video from the husband that just completely did me in: (And yes, it totally made my day.)

The Mangler 2

2008-08-26T03:36:10Z

Omg, I am, like, soooo goth. You can tell because I'm wearing black lipstick and I have severe daddy issues. Oh, and I'm a haxor who gets all my hawt hax goodies from sites that look like they were designed circa 1998. I will make them all pay for sending me to a school for the overprivileged. Bastards. And when obscure characters who may or may not have been previously introduced die, I will be running around giggling like a 14 year old girl at a college and be making awkwardly timed googly eyes at a guy who I may or may not have some sort of accomplished relationship with. But the chef will live at least.

The Brave One

2008-08-20T05:48:04Z

I'll admit it; I only saw this movie cause Naveen Andrews was in it. Imagine my disappointment when he ended up much like the Sean Bean character in "Flight Plan". (really capable actor horribly wasted on a crap role with very little screen time.) The story is developed around a couple who get the crap kicked out of them one night, ending in a tragic way (go on, guess) and the vigilante actions the woman undertakes. My problems began with the fact that no one could possibly beat down Sayid's ass like that. Yes, I realize it's a different character, but c'mon. (Just try to watch the dance sequence from 'Bride and Prejudice' without giggling. I dare you.) Next, there was a scene in which Jodie Foster's character is trying to get a gun and upon hearing there's a 30 day waiting fee, she blurts out something like 'I won't survive 30 days". So she's lived in the city for a number of years and now is convinced death and danger await on every street corner? Oddly enough, it does in this movie. It was just hard to swallow. The movie just felt like a weak attempt with no emotional pull to it and a whole lotta wasted talent. But there is a scene involving Sayid and a nip. (okay, naveen...sheesh)

Those crazy kids today...

2008-08-20T04:45:57Z

Came across this today while on my way to grab a coffee: I know I shouldn't find it as amusing as I do, but this is one of the greatest acts of vandalism I have come across...ever.

It's going down!

2008-08-13T01:42:54Z

A few moments ago, my husband noticed that 2 of our garbage cans were strangely absent from our backyard. I sat there for a brief second, pondering if perhaps I put the garbage cans somewhere and conveniently forgot about it, but I decided that there was no way that I would have actually moved the garbage cans for any reason. Someone or multiple someones stole our garbage cans! Now, for the life of me, I can't figure out WHY someone would steal garbage cans. If you really need to dispose of trash, why not use the dumpster across the street instead of paying for garbage stickers? We don't use the dumpster, but we're not garbage can-stealing douchebags who have questionable moral fiber. (I'm just saying..if you're gonna be a dbag, BE a dbag. None of this half-assing shit.) In the grand scheme of things, I don't care about the garbage cans. Unfortunately, I absolutely hate being fucked with and having people mess with my stuff, so I was not about to just let this one slide by. I quickly concocted a theory: Whomever stole the cans must surely live nearby. After all, who in their right mind would throw USED garbage cans into their car and drive around with the faint linger of garbage that once was? (Note to self: see comment about garbage-can stealing douchebags...) I left the house to do a quick scout of the alleyway behind our house. As I peered into each person's backyard, two things dawned on me. One, I'm not 100% sure what the garbage cans looked like. Two, I failed to devise a followup to the "find the garbage cans" plan. What was I going to do, walk up to the alleged thief's abode, say "Hey, nice cans you got there?", render them unconscious and steal the cans back? The plan had some serious flaws. Regardless, my scouting yielded two possible suspects, assuming my garbage cans look the way I think they did. I returned home to relay the information, but again, there was no follow-up plan. I'm toying with the idea of getting a posse together one night and capturing the cans back. Operation ForceFlex. I think it's entirely doable. Necessary? No. A fine display of my lack of emotional maturity? Absolutely.

The Midnight Meat Train

2008-08-03T02:42:04Z

I gotta tell you, I felt a little bad for this flick. It seemed like it was getting the shaft from Lionsgate, as it got a limited release into second run theatres. But in retrospect, I'm glad it only cost me $3 to see it. This is your basic 'guy in the wrong place at the right time' sort of story involving a photographer who thinks he may know who is behind a slew of missing people. It really doesn't get much more complicated than that until the last 20 mins or so. The pros of this film lie solely in the effects and gore. As sick as it may be, my penchant for horror films and the after effect of a slightly jaded sensibility when it comes to gore, I find myself often giggling in delight over how extreme some filmmakers go. It's a profound appreciation for the work involved in creating those effects. How many times do you get to see an eyeball pop out of the skull and towards the camera, really? If gore is really the only thing you need from a film, this will satiate you. However, if it's strong plot and character development you need, you are sorely out of luck. This movie switches gears right near the end, which was a little tiring. Even more tiring was the absolutely lack in likability of the characters. I get it, he's a photographer who wants to be edgy. That is about as deep as he goes. There's a very awkward exchange between the photog and his woman. She's tired of his obsession and says to him "Photograph what you love." *cry, cry* He responds, equally sappy and looking like a strung out crackhead, "I love you". Then she proceeds to remove her clothing and he attempts to take pictures, but alas...he can't. So she runs half naked into the bedroom crying and slams the door. My reaction was "What the hell?" If there was an actual relationship built there, then maybe that scene would have played out better. Instead, it was just an uncomfortable moment in the film, trying to understand the dynamic. I will also say that this film had some of the dumbest folks ever written doing things that you would hope normal people would never consider. It is a shame as I was holding out hope for this one. See it for the visuals, but don't expect anything beyond that.

One of my fav You Tube videos ever

2008-07-29T01:59:08Z

Well because of Wil Wheaton, I found myself watching Lil J Showstopper on You Tube. I should probably elaborate on that, but nah...it's a good sentence the way it is. Relish it. Embrace it. I just blamed something on Wil Wheaton. YEAH! So anyway, Lil J was a sad, sad picture of the youth of today, and really not worth posting here. But somewhere along the lines, I came across my absolute fav "remix" video EVER. (I think I had this posted on Monkeythoughts V01, but those days are long gone.) Enjoy Bubb Rubb, Lil Sis, and the WHOO WHOO!

Doomsday

2008-07-27T03:03:16Z

It took me about 20 mins before I figured out why Kate Beckinsale was looking so odd. (Because it was not KB, but Rhona Mitra). So what do you do when a deadly virus gets out of control? Close the country of course and accept your losses. (Duh.) And what do you do when you're in the country that has been cut off from the rest of the world and abandoned to die? Well...you either become all Thunderdome, cannibalistic, get some tattoos, and dye your hair...or you decide to go old school. Really old school. Medieval old school. Complete with medieval outfits. Talk about clashing.

Suspiria

2008-07-27T02:46:31Z

Story-wise, this movie isn't the strongest. (That seems to be a reoccurring theme in my reviews tonight.) The issue may just be from the dubbing though. Where this movie shines (and earns 4 delicious nanas) is the actual camera work and cinematography. It is absolutely gorgeous. The colors, the lighting, the atmosphere...just perfect. And the first death in the movie...yeowz. I watched that scene several times just to take it in. Classic!

The Last Broadcast

2008-07-27T02:36:52Z

It's like the Blair Witch, but without the Blair Witch. And an interesting story. And quality. Actually, it's nothing like the Blair Witch, but people keep making comparisons between the two. (You see, each movie involves people going into the woods. And some video cameras. And disappearing bodies.) Honestly, the ending is what completely and utterly trashed this movie for me. I don't know where the filmmakers were going with it, but it would have been half a nana better without it.

The King of Kong

2008-07-27T02:14:56Z

Best.Shit.Ever. A documentary on the man who held the top Donkey Kong score, and the guy who decided to beat it. Sure, on the surface, it may seem like a total nerdfest. But this is a really captivating documentary. I found myself rooting for Steve Wiebe and deciding that Billy Mitchell can suck an egg. It's like a simple good vrs evil tale...only Billy Mitchell isn't really evil. He's just painted as the 'bad guy' in this movie. I think even for a non-gamer, this would be an entertaining flick.

The Ruins

2008-07-27T01:57:04Z

I guess I missed what the fuss was about this movie. I was quite disappointed after reading/hearing some good reviews. Honestly, when it comes down to it, mockingbird-like ivy that crawls all up in people doesn't seem like such a solid story line after all. Who would have thought?

Rambo

2008-07-27T01:50:08Z

Die Hard, hands down. So Rambo was looking pretty appealing, what with the guns and the explosions and all. My officemate told me that I would be laughing at the sheer over-the-top approach of the violence in this movie, and he was right. I had meant to watch this more than once just to count how many times a head got blown off. It was really insane. Story-wise, it didn't get too fancy, and that was not a negative thing in this case. It was still entertaining to the very end. (You know...as entertaining as people getting blown up can be.)

Admit it

2008-07-24T06:07:40Z

This is the face of a vicious attack dog: You're scared. You know it's true.

Bringing the creepy

2008-07-23T21:05:39Z

And the pathetic.... And the delusional...and the psycho...and yet...funny all the same. Some people just don't *get* it.