I am the proud owner of a fourteen year old.
This doesn’t make me feel old at all.

Hey, I never said I was brave. On the contrary, I am quite the coward at times. Especially when those times entail creepy things happening.

(The creepiness ended up being the TV on, which he failed to notice at the time. )

Phoenix turned 13 this year. There’s something about going from being the mom of two young kids to the mom of a teenager. I don’t feel old enough to have a teenager, but that is what happens when you pop one out a month before your 21st birthday. Essentially, we have grown up together, although I’m pretty sure he’s more mature than me, and possibly smarter. I chuckled the other day as he yelled at a kid’s book on space for its blatant “inaccuracies and biased language”. He has weekly conversations with my dad about quantum physics and space and the purpose of life; conversations that I have really nothing to add to. Lately he’s been picking up the guitar and has gotten into bands like Nirvana and Soundgarden. He probably knows more about Nirvana than I do, and I was his age when they were popular for pete’s sake!

I’m finding these teenage years to be an interesting challenge. When the boys were little, my plan was to never use the phrase “because I said so”. I felt that every “order” should have a reasonable clarification why. That sort of thinking didn’t last very long. I found myself resorting to that phrase as a shortcut way of saying “Just do it because I don’t feel like arguing over something so stupid”. Now, the phrase has become to mean “Because I said so”. There is a sometimes weird power struggle, and it becomes important to reiterate that I am the parent in this relationship and thereby am boss. Phoenix could make an excellent lawyer or debate team member. He can argue his point nonstop. I can admire that sort of persistence if it’s put to good use. Maybe by calling the publishers of that aforementioned book.

Peanut wrote this poem today at school. The translation from first grade spelling is

I am sick

I don’t know what to do

I am locked in my room

Somebody help me

I am kidnapped

Oh boy. Let me just say that he is a happy and healthy child. He just happens to like weird and scary stuff like me. Also, these are his uncles. So, yes, we’re all a little out there. Creative writing class will be interesting with this one.

Peanut: “It’s almost Christmas and it hasn’t even snowed yet.”

Me: “Well, it doesn’t always snow on Christmas.”

Peanut: “How do you know?”

Me: “Cause I’m 30-something years old and it hasn’t snowed every Christmas.”

Peanut: “35?”

Me: “No! 30-something. Some years it doesn’t snow at all. ”

Peanut: “So…life isn’t fair?”

Me: “Yep. Life isn’t fair.”

I have a confession: I am not a Tiger mom. Not even close. Maybe like a Feral Cat mom, if the feline family is your thing. It takes a lot for me to get angry, usually. Obviously there can be mitigating factors like how the rest of the day has gone, but usually I’m pretty mellow. I put my foot down about grades, but I try not to be as hard as my parents were with me. That stuff stayed with me well into college. It’s more important that they try their hardest and understand the material. I’m also a stickler about them not eating junk food and drinking soda regularly and playing at least one sport per season. But the occasional candy bar and soda isn’t going to be their demise, and we have missed a few seasons here and there cause of other obligations.

I did realize today that I needed to be stricter about music practice. I’m asking for an hour a day, which seems completely reasonable to me, but I have a feeling I’ll be lucky to get it. Music will be another thing I put my foot down about. The kids are required to pick an instrument starting in 4th grade, which I think is an awesome requirement in a time that many schools are cutting out art and music. By Junior High, it becomes optional in the school, but not with me. I’m sure I’ll hear plenty of grumbles about it, but they’ll thank me later when they’re older for not letting them quit. I’m not expecting them to become symphony musicians or anything; just well-rounded.

All my 7 year old has been talking about for weeks is ice skating. He wanted, more than just about anything, to go ice skating. This probably seems pretty tame of a request except for one minor detail: neither me or the mister can ice skate. In fact, I’m 99% sure I’ve never even been ice skating before. But I like to enjoy life and what better way to do that than to put oneself out there for new experiences? Oh, the things we do for our kids.
After requesting that we go to the library today, my ice skater in training and I found ourselves exploring the city looking for things to do. We soon stumbled upon the ice skating rink. The only issue, lack of experience and my accident proneness aside, was that it was raining. Oddly enough, people were still skating in the rain, so I figured “Why not?”. If we were going to do this, we might as well do this, right? I purchased our admission and rented skates for the two of us. Everywhere was wet so we had to just suck it up and pick a spot to get our skates on. Peanut got his on just fine and went wobbling off. I had a bit more of a struggle and was all wobbly legged trying to walk on those death machines. As I was hobbling around like a fool, I made a comment to a fellow mom that this was folly. It was a disaster waiting to happen. She kindly pointed out that I wouldn’t be the first person to fall on the ice. She also said that I would have much better luck if I tightened the skates around my ankles, which I’m sure I’ve heard somewhere but didn’t abide by.  Turns out, that was the trick. I was able to walk to normally once I did that. Meanwhile, Peanut was falling everywhere so I had him come back so I could double check his skates. A brief tightening helped his balance as well. I did one lap around the rink with him, gliding slowly and holding onto the rail. I managed to not fall once, but I noticed skating hurt my feet. Not my ankles, but the soles of my feet were in pain. I also noticed that at a point, I got distracted and had let go of the railing and still managed to not fall. But I called it quits due to the foot pain and watch Peanut have at it. It was definitely an adventure, but we were soaked and needed to warm up. I’m happy that we decided to try this, but I wish it wasn’t so rainy!