Monkey Thoughts

I didn't want to give the impression that my family enjoys shitting on the carpet or something. Connor has had this nasty bug for about a week now. He's been to the ER and his doc, but they just said to let it run its course. Unfortunately, its course has consisted of random vomittings IN MY CAR and explosive poops.
Today was another explosive poop. It ended up leaking out of the diaper and onto the carpet. Thus the stain. And unfortunately, I was out of rug cleaner.
See how it all comes full circle?

I think it would be cool to know what dinosaurs really looked like and what really happened to them. Or how life began. Or how Stonehedge was made.

But right now, I'm focused on a deeper mystery.

I'll be the first to admit, I don't understand toddler language even from my own toddler. Sure, some words are very distinct and clear, and we can get the jist of what he's saying. But other times, those times where he's seemingly having a long, intent conversation, I have no freaking clue. And sometimes, I think he's speaking Japanese.

Beyond the babbling, there's a phrase Connor has picked up- "Elmo doe" (pronounced Elmo dough). I haven't a clue as to what it means. He says it while watching Elmo videos for the 10th time today, while taking a bath, while playing with a million Elmo toys, while in the car. And I CANNOT figure out what it means. Everytime I think we've zeroed in on its translation, he says it in a seemingly different context. I've tried the "Show me. Where's Elmo doe?", and he gives me this look like there's something wrong with me for even asking that. My husband tells me to not get so worked up about it, but I can't help it. It's like a code that I need to break. It'd be one thing if it was just babble, but this is the same repeated phrase, said in a manner that obviously suggests I'm a damn fool for not understanding.

What does it mean? WHAT IS ELMO DOE? AGGH!

One of the dual benefits/drawbacks to having kids is being subjected to their TV programming tastes. Unless you're one of those parents that believe TV is evil and is strictly prohibited. (For the record, I don't think that really works. I had a professor whose parents did that. He spent his early college years doing nothing but catching up on the 18 years of TV he missed.) It's a benefit in that you can get away with watching cartoons and no one seems to say anything. "Oh, you have a kid...that explains it." For the record, I'd watch cartoons even if I didn't have kids, although I find the current selection of cartoons lacking quality. The drawback is sometimes the kids don't have good taste in cartoons.
For example..there's the whole Yu-gi-oh/Naruto genre of cartoons. I can't stand those. They're like cartoon soaps, but with a fantasy element. A lot of serious stares and close ups.
Then there's the preschool genre. Blue Clues (the Steve years) is good. Dora is not too bad even though there's a lot of staring at the screen. And Boots is an ass monkey. But Go Diego, Go. Why my son likes this show is BEYOND me- other than the fact that he's two of course. It has too many lame songs. There's no content in the show, so someone decided to fill it with stupid songs. They spent about a minute on this episode singing "Waa Waa!" over and over again. I guess they wanted to have a boy counterpart to Dora. Either way, it's total shit. Yet, still not as bad as talking hands.

My home has been invaded by little people. I dryly laugh in my head at the humor of saying "don't make a mess". That's just a useless expenditure of energy.
So now I sit here and have a tick at the amount of cleaning I'll have to do. Maybe I'll clean in the form of shoving all the toys in a packing box.

(and by little people, I mean kids, not "little people".)