Back in June I had this wonderful experience involving a road vigilante, keeping drivers from cheating the merging system. Well, trying to at least. Today I met his evil twin, who probably had a
goatee van dyke (know your facial hair) a lá a Star Trek villain. I didn’t actually look cause I don’t acknowledge crazy drivers. I find it gives them a lack of fulfillment if I don’t acknowledge that they are cursing at me.
My route home has been a traffic mess for about a week now. Due to road construction, the left lane closes and merges to the right. A few hundred feet up from that spot, the right lane naturally ends and merges into the left. To avoid the craptastic jam, it makes more sense to stay in the right lane until out of the construction zone and then swoop into the left shortly out of it. However, tonight the right lane wasn’t moving as smoothly as it usually does, even with all the other traffic merging over. I peered up three cars ahead of me and noticed an SUV straddling both lanes. This was quite a bit before any lane merge so I have no idea what his issue was. He was in the left lane originally but clearly did not like to see cars in the right lane passing him up. We must be cheaters of the system, and not road weary drivers who have been following this same routine for a week. As we approached the point of the lane ending, I saw there was just enough room for everyone to squeeze by this chump if they had the guts to do it. I yelled encouragement from my vehicle : “Hell yeah! Do it! DO EEEEET!” I am a poetic rabble rouser, you see. Finally car #1 had enough and maneuvered around him. Then car #2 followed suit. Car #3 paused during the coup to give the driver of the other vehicle a few choice words, no doubt. I was next. I squeezed my vehicle around the SUV and stopped right in front of him. Since I am a wonderfully considerate driver, I let all the cars that were in front of this jackass to merge over peacefully while he had no choice but to wait. Then we headed about our separate ways, the jackass no doubt feeling the sting of his failed attempt to be the boss of traffic. Take note, jackass drivers: you are not the boss of the traffic!