I was logging into my Myspace account 10 secs ago and I saw the ad for this: MySpace Jobs. Is that really necessary?
Seriously, they are becoming the "Amazon" of social networking sites, only with more teens and creepy old people who like teens. Ew. And you can't buy shit there. Yet.
I was reading AdRants and came across the story featuring a Dove ad. In the ad, a "normal" looking woman is madeup and photoshopped into a model for an ad. I knew there was some tooling around with ads and stuff, but this is incredible to watch it all unfold.
http://www.reginaldpike.com/dove/index.html
While it's a powerful ad, I can't shake the urge to go Photoshop myself and see what happens.
A few days ago, I made a decision. Being an indecisive person by nature, it was not an easy decision and I'm still wondering if I made the right one.
You see, a coworker had a "porch cat" accompanied by two kittens. We decided, after much consideration, to take in one of the kittens. We had to think about Pez hating other cats, and the cost for taking in a stray kitten ($131 for that first vet visit, in case you're wondering). But it was a cute little kitten and we felt bad for him, so we brought him into our home. Pez is pissed off about it, as expected, but is surprisingly not taking it out on me. (He held a grudge because I "brought home" another child. I assumed he'd be more irritated about another of his kind.) Anyway, this new kitten (named Sake), is a bit more rambunctious than Pez was, even as a kitten. We keep the two separated for most of the time until they get used to each other (which I read could take as long as 18 months in some cases, and never in other cases). My sleep has been interrupted more than once due to Sake deciding to bite me. Mostly, I just feel bad for Pez. And I never pegged myself as a more than one cat kinda girl. I grew up with dogs and am used to their social structures and behaviors. Cats are completely different. I have no idea what to expect with these two. Luckily, it's not as bad as this :
Hey, I don't work here anymore. Why are you sending me stuff? :)
Working With Idiots Can Kill You
Right on. Unfortunately, it originated from Weekly World News and therefore...made up.
I have worked with some real idiots in the span of my 13 working years. Some have been harmless and just nice-but-not-bright folks.
Then there's the stupid-and-vidictive folks, the lazy-and-stupid folks, and the stupid-and-unable-to-take-responsibility-for-anything folks. Those are the ones that cause excessive drinking or trying to find ways to get the stress out in a non-violent, non-possible-time-in-jail ways. Not harmful to health my ass.
(Yeah, it's an old article. But a jpg has been making the email rounds, making it look like a real article.)
Not to sound like a crazy-cat person, but I'm quite impressed with the progress Sake and Pez have made in the past few days. For awhile, I was beginning to think we'd have to accept a life of keeping the cats separate. But a few days ago, Pez was hissing noticably less and just seemed interested in Sake. So we left them out in the same room. There was some stare downs and some slight hissing but when Sake got bored and started playing by himself, Pez seemed to realize "Hey...this little shit could be kinda fun to keep around." And they've been hanging out ever since. Sure, Pez has those moments where I question if he's trying to eat Sake, or if they really are just playing. And he was visibly pissed off when Sake used his litterbox for the first time. Other than that, they're cool, which is a huge relief. Coordinating the whereabouts of the two cats at any given moment was getting to be a real pain in the ass.
I came across this entry on Google's official blog: Do You "Google"?
Like so many other readers, I am truly wondering if this is just an big act or if someone really has their panties in a twist about the word "google" making its way in every day conversation. (Hell, William is even telling us to google things these days.)
Bottom line is if someone is using "google" synonymously for "searching on any other website", they most likely aren't the most tech savvy folks in the first place and really not something Google should be worried about. And like other people have stated, it does reflect on their street cred and throws an unflattering typical big business light on them. But hey. Won't stop me from using them. I love the Google.
A while ago, there was a picture going around that had represented a crapload of bands by various images. (It was a contest actually...forget who sponsored it). This is in that same vein, only using horror movies. Find the movies
It's driving me mad cause my brain likes to analyze too much instead of just figuring out the representation. I'm at 22 out of 50 right now, and it's taken me a while for that. (And I freaking love horror movies. Go figure.)
*Update: I finally found all 50 last night...but jeesh. Some of those clues were damn silly.
Nissan's new ad campaign for the Sentra involves some dude living out of it for 7 days.
I had a Sentra. It was nice.
I also lived out of a car once...and I can't imagine anyone wanting to do that. Of course, I highly doubt this dude is actually living out of it. And I lived in mine for more than 7 days. Oh, and I wasn't paid for doing it.
Damn.
I stumbled across this entry on the whole issue of stores decorating for Christmas before Halloween is even over.
Word. It's cool to see someone else who's not happy about the rushing of holidays.
(Seriously people, what is so wrong with Thanksgiving? Turkey, pie, mashed potatoes. It KICKS ASS.)
That's not to say I don't love Christmas. But I love Halloween and will dedicate Oct for that. Most of Nov goes to Thanksgiving. When Thanksgiving is over, THEN I will be all Christmas-like. But not a day sooner.
I would suck badly in the retail business.
Another Halloween has come and gone, yet neither of my kids were recruited for witchcraft or asked to experiment in the occult . What the hell (or lack, thereof)? In fact, they had a rather safe, fun-filled, candy goodness of a time.
I suppose my kids aren't "cool" enough. Psssht. Whatever.
I stumbled across this shirt . Unfortunately, I never was good at the whole "picture instead of words" thing, so at first glance I was thinking to myself "I love rooster and cat?? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
Ehh. I'm smarts.
I have to admit, I'm very enthusiastic about voting. I suppose one day, I may get voter apathy, but for now, I really love Election Day. That's not to say I have any idea what's going on. I mean, I know things suck, but when there's suck in your own life, you tend to focus on "local" suck moreso than national suck. I wasn't even aware the ballots had changed till I went to the polls today. (And I didn't even get to use the REAL ballot machine thanks to my inattention to updating my name in the voter's registration prior to today. I had to get a provisional ballot, which means they put it in an envelope and threw it away. Or sent it somewhere. Who knows. All I know is that someone other than me got to look over my ballot today.)
So the Monday before election day I use to catch up on what the issues are/who the candidates are. I do a pretty good job of filtering out all those stupid ass campaign commercials. I mean, isn't the mudslinging old by now? At least they should do it in an interesting way and say "Don't vote for Mary Smith! She's a crack whore with VD!" Okay, that's not legal. But it would be funny. Don't even get me started on the "I'm so-and-so and I approve this message" crap. Now where was I? Oh yeah, getting acquainted with the ballot. This year I actually took a voter's guide with me, as I realized counting on my memory for anything is crap.
And I voted. WOO.
Then I told my husband he was voting. Sure, he didn't feel like it. But I didn't give him the option, cause I'm all pro-vote and all. Of course, I didn't consider that he had no idea who was running for who and what the issues were, etc. So he voted based on who had the cooler name. I can't get on him for this. When it came to the judges, I voted based on who didn't have a stupid campaign sign. I don't get the whole voting for judges thing. Being not employed in the legal industry, who the hell am I to say whether or not someone would make a good judge. Do they have a law license? Did they go to school? Do they know shit? Okay, fine, you can be judge. (And on a side note, I never want to be picked for jury duty as I don't feel I possess the qualifications for such a position. I know nothing about the law. Minus the obvious stuff.)
Anyway...I voted, and hopefully the people I voted for won, because I like feeling like I won. And then maybe shit won't suck.
OJ's book, If I Did It, Here's How It Happened set to go on sale Nov 30.
How is this not funny, in a sick yet surreal way? It's the title that has me shaking my head. I liken it to those movies where the bad guy tells you his master plan and how he executed said plan. Yet in doing so, he gives the hero enough time to foil the plan.
Minus the hero part.
Although I think a better title would have been "I Didn't Kill Them And Am Still Looking For The Real Killer, But Let's Say I Did Kill Them (I Didn't, By The Way), Here's How I Would Have Done It. You Know, If I Killed Them. But I Didn't. And I'm Still Looking For The Real Killer."
I'm so freaking bored lately. I have no interest in doing the usual things. I have less of an attention span than usual. Hell, I'm lucky I can pay attention to the things I NEED to get done on a daily basis. I guess I'm just in a funk at the moment. I love this time of year on one hand, and on the other I don't. I'm still shocked how quickly a year can go by and I feel like I've done nothing. In fact, if someone asked me what I did this year, my answer is nothing. Same with last year.
Of course, I am broke, which puts a hamper on doing things.
Maybe I did something. I don't remember it though.
Woman practicing Elimination Communication wonders if shitting in a sink is a bad thing
It's not so much the emptying of the child's potty in the sink as opposed to, oh I don't know, the TOILET, as it is this statement:
"I worry a bit though, because when we're out and about I do hold her over bathroom sinks because she likes that better than being held over the toilet"
So next time you go to wash your hands in a public restroom, you can wonder if some whack job decided to let her child SHIT IN THE SINK.
(And if you don't know, Elimination Communication)
One thing I've noticed about the new kitten (Sake), other than what an adorable little bastard shit he can be, is how he seems to possess the ability to be wherever I am at any given time, yet I never see him move from one place to another. He was in the living room, hanging out. I got up, went into the bathroom and closed the door. A second later I jumped as I felt something hit my leg. It was Sake. After I left the bathroom (and thus opening the door to let Sake out), I heard a bang in the kitchen. I went in to find him messing around in one of the cabinets. How the hell is that even possible? He was just in the bathroom! He'd had to have dashed passed me in a hallway full of laundry, yet I never saw him.
He does the same thing when we go to bed. He'll manage to sneak in the room and hides out until some time has passed. Normally, when I'm ready to drift off to sleep, he crawls up on the bed (from the headboard) and sticks his purring head in my face. It drives me nuts.
And now I've convinced myself that he has some sort of superpower.
While doing absolutely nothing, I stumbled across a blog post about the "Moms for Modesty". To sum this "movement" up, it basically has to do with moms who object to the production of, well, slutty looking clothes for girls. Now I may not have a girl, but I can understand. Some of the clothes available for little girls are ridiculously inappropriate. Add that with those fucking Bratz dolls and the ol' hotel heiress who got famous for sucking dick on camera, and what the hell are girls supposed to think?
However...
While reading the "pledge" of the Moms for Modesty, this particular bullet caught my eye...eventually (I skimmed the list the first time around) :
I believe that it is unwise and unfair to taunt boys and young men by permitting my daughter(s) to dress in an immodest manner.
Ahem. Unfair? Say wha? Since when are members of the opposite sex not responsible for their actions? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this in the same vein as the "Bitch deserved it, dressing like that" rationalization for rape? One's manner of dress still manages equates sexual desire and how bad a person must want it? Still??
Reminds me of my ex-asshole, who was convinced that any shirt I wore that was shy of being a turtleneck must have been a deliberate step on my behalf to show the entire male population my tits. For the sole purpose of cheating on him, of course. In reality, I can't stand anything too close around my neck. I could never wear turtlenecks or high collars cause I feel really claustrophobic with something too snug. I prefer anything that does not creep too high above my collar bone else I feel like it's going to eat me. (That's the best way I can describe the feeling.)
But no, I must have been trying to get everyone to look at my boobies.
(I just had a thought. I wonder how effective it would be to respond to those "I can't make eye contact. Must talk to boobs" people with a nice, friendly, crotch stare down? Someone must try this and tell me what happens.)
Anyway, I recommend that bullet point be rewritten to read:
I really don't want my daughter to be a cock tease just yet. cause that is essentially what they're saying.
It's officially Thanksgiving. Almost 2 AM, actually. I have an overwhelming amount of work to get done to make sure the place is both ready for company and ready for turkey.
To stay focused and calm, I've revisited the incident that occurred last Thanksgiving:
It would be unheard of for Thanksgiving to have gone by smoothly. I planned the meal for 2pm. Around that time, the smoke alarm began to go off. I noticed smoke was quickly filling up the apartment. I knew it wasn't the turkey as I had removed it about 30 mins ago. But I went to the oven which I figured could be the only culprit. Upon opening the door, I saw a rather large fire had started inside the oven, thanks to the drippings that had accumulated by the heating element. My immediate reaction was to think "Hmmmm" and close the oven door. I sat there for a few seconds thinking this situation could not be good when my husband came back in the apt. He saw the fire and freaked, telling me to get water quick. I filled a cup of water up and began to try to figure out why I had this overwhelming feeling that water would not solve things. I took a few steps back and tossed water onto the flames, only to see the fire double in size and shoot out the top of the stove. While my husband ran downstairs to get the fire extinguisher, I closed the oven door again and turned the oven off. That seemed to do the trick, actually, and by the time he returned with the extinguisher the fire was out. So the moral of the story is- don't use water on fires in an electric stove (which makes so much sense now) and sometimes pretending things don't exist will help....
So, basically...as long as I don't set anything on fire this year, Thanksgiving will be a success.
Well, I had a pretty uneventful Thanksgiving, which means no fires. Now I get to enjoy the long weekend in peace.
I made the mistake one year to actually try to shop on "Black Friday". Poor naive me had no idea that people were crazy and greedy and just overall bastards when it came to Christmas shopping for good deals. After that experience, I decided there was nothing worth going through all that for.
MSNBC.com had an article this morning on the shoppers (no surprise there. They have the same damn story every year.)
This particular bunch of paragraphs just made me all warm and fuzzy inside:
Even those who arrived early Friday and waited in line for the doors to open at 5 a.m. were not guaranteed success. Brian Clark, 27, of Bristol left empty-handed after the televisions and computers he’d eyed as Christmas gifts were snatched by earlier shoppers.Alarmed by a recent shooting of a customer waiting outside a Connecticut Wal-Mart store for Sony’s PlayStation 3, which are almost impossible to find, Clark had tucked his Glock pistol in a holster under his jacket and put extra ammunition in his pocket before heading out early Friday.
*sigh* Nothing says "Tis the season" like a Glock.
I wrote this several years ago for USA Today's haiku contest.
Needless to say, I did not win.
Poodle: Purebred shit
Prim and proper, prancing feet
See its funny ass
I was feeling bad earlier today and considered going home for a bit. But then I thought "Well shit. I can't go home. There's a bomb over there."
Yeah, it's one of those days.
A haiku to express my feelings.
Ahem...
dear loser fuck face-
i think you should fuck your mom.
she just might like it.
I can see you...
It came to my attention this evening (i.e., Scooooot was kind enough to mention) that one of my email addresses had a fucked up reply-to address. And by fucked up, I mean it was going to a domain I haven't owned in about 4 years.
What's really bad is that it happened sometime on June 25th, @ 12:35pm and I just now noticed. This explains so much. Except for how the hell it happened in the first place.
The 25th was a Sunday, so I'm not completely ruling out that I may have been drinking at the time.
And somehow, in the minute between normal setup and fucked up set up, I managed to go into my options and change the address to something I would never be able to check. Yeah, that sounds about right.
What to do in a zombie attack:
Came across this entry and had to share.
I guarantee you when this originally aired I was staying up late with the VCR ready. I'd be ashamed by that fact if I didn't find it so damn funny now.
It's the 7 Lamest Fight Scenes of All Time!
I disagree with Sonny versus Carlo making the list, cause I probably would have bit the bastard too if he was holding on like a pansy ass. And with the Witness one, cause I thought that was awesome. If I was a cop pretending to be an Amish person and someone ice creamed Viggo, I 'd kick ass too.
But #1...man...that's a gem.
Funny enough, I actually thought today was Thursday. Normally, I'm a day behind. Somehow I managed to be a day ahead. Not sure how I pulled that one off.
I enjoy a chocolate covered pretzel. But a 10-inch pretzel rod dipped in so much chocolate and crap to render it deadly? Even better.
I am now armed with a Pretzel O' Mass Destruction.
I have no desire to eat the thing. I just want to threaten people with it.
I'm not one for New Year's Resolutions, cause I think "Hey..we should set challenges and goals all the time in our lives...so we can fail more often." Maybe not that last part. But if there's one goal I have this new years, it's not to get completely wasted on New Year's Eve and drunk email everyone I know. You know, what I did last year. I'm also not planning on bleaching my hair into 6 different colors and having to pay well over $100 to get it fixed. Again, like I did last year. Or having to crash at my dad's cause I drank a whole bowl o' wassel (also known as the prelude to the email). (Last year. But hey, that shit was tasty.)
As for next year's plans...if I can take a normal vacation this year that actually involves me taking the fam out of the state to a cool ass place, that would be a hell of an improvement.
So here's to not going out like a damn fool this year. WOO!
God help me if there's wassel available.
Nothing says Christmas like a Dixie cup o' wine and a few notes scribbled on an envelop on what presents you were going to get but didn't come in time.
Hehehehe.
I have a Socrates book (and I'm pronouncing it "So Crates" too), so that makes it cool.
I should be sleeping now, but I'm distrustful of one of the cats at the moment. In a few hours, he managed to knock the star off the tree, and possibly a few ornaments as well. And he keeps messing up my display o' presents. Bastard.
We had no milk and cookies this year, so we left a candy cane and root beer for Santa. That's how we roll here. We also just got our tree up at about 3 pm on Christmas Eve. How's that for procrastinating? Taking it down will be another matter. Our record thus far is February or March. All I remember is that the tree was very, very dry and it took a matter of seconds for the apt manager to bang on the door and tell us to vacuum the hallway. We have since then gone with the artificial tree.
Anyway. Merry Christmas. Yeah!
It usually takes a lot for a person to intimidate me. I think it's cause I'm a jackass and will fight back/run my mouth without thinking first. Such jackassery tends to get me in trouble, but lately I've been a lot better at picking my fights and shutting my fucking mouth. WOO.
I just met the one group of people that terrified the shit out of me by just looking at me.
I went into a beauty supply store, partly because it was there and I hadn't been in there before, and partly cause I was interested in the hair dye goods. Now I've heard stories about the owners. They are generally distrusting people and once chased a naked woman into the parking lot for trying to steal a wig. (I don't know why/how the woman became naked. All I know is it was on video surveillance.)
These were not people to mess with. But I went into the store all the same. Seeing how I just came from another store, I knew it would be best to leave my bags at the counter to avoid any confrontation. So I willingly checked them. After browsing for several minutes, I had to approach the man at the counter and ask about a product. He glared at me and said "You ask her!", pointing to a woman by another counter. I approached the woman and asked her about the product. She commanded me to check a certain aisle. I did, but the product was not to be found. I was now faced with the task of getting my bags from the guy at the counter and leaving without buying anything. I slowly approached the counter. The man glared at me silently. I asked if I could please have my bags. He didn't move at first, but managed to glare even more. Then slowly he picked up my bags and gave them to me, looking suspiciously disgusted with me. I felt really, really bad for not buying anything, but wanted to get the hell out of there. And part of me wanted to assure them that I didn't steal anything. Instead, I damn near ran out, vowing to never go in again.
Man, that was some scary shit.
Not that I have normal dreams.
But this one was a beaut.
It starts out with me hanging out with Tom Hanks and Dakota Fanning. (Yeah, wtf). Turns out, we're trying to get her away from the likes of Keanu Reeves. They get onto an elevator while I put him in a headlock. I was kicking some serious ass. Once their elevator leaves, I attempt to get into another one, but I have to keep kicking some dude so he doesn't get on too. I go to floor 7, which happens to be some sort of shopping mall. As I'm wandering the mall, I come across a part that's being renovated. It is there that I discover some sort of shopping mall conspiracy, but the bad guys (who happen to be soccer-momish women, detect my presence and start chasing me. I hid in some pit of sauce which is all part of the conspiracy, but I am detected there too. As a bad guy gets in the sauce to get me, I fight like all hell and get out. I run (surprisingly well considering I was just in a vat o' sauce) to the elevator and go to another floor to catch up with Tom and Dakota. They happen to be on the level with a genetics research lab, which somehow ties into the whole conspiracy. We breathe a sigh of relief for figuring it all out and I get proposed to.
Then I woke up. I would like to add that I did not drink/smoke anything prior to going to bed. This all happened naturally.
It's like a Scooot dream.
List available here
Now, I enjoy "awesome" and honestly didn't realize that many people used it to the point of overuse. So I need a new word to take the place. Maybe "fantastic" will do. Several years ago, I tried to bring back "fantastico", but it didn't stick with me. Although, I have been using "kick a" instead of awesome lately. That may work just as well.
I would also like to add "wow" to the list. I'm guilty of this one. But generally, it is overused for things that do not need a wow. Maybe "shits, that is crazy!" would be more efficient in some cases. I'm making a mental note to extricate "wow" from my vocabulary.
Also, "assnuts" is the new "asshat" for 2007. So anyone who I refer to as an asshat on a regular basis shall now be assnuts.
Straight out of 1995, the upcoming topic of discussion is...
Learn about how to navigate your computer and different websites.
I wouldn't be surprised if they handed out a cheat sheet of what LOL, BRB and ASL mean. Or perhaps the dangers of MySpace. Or how people in chat rooms just may not be who they say they are.
If it weren't for the fact that I already have plans, I would love to go and play like a total dumbass and really make them work for it. And maybe ask them where I plug my computer into the internets at.
I just realized it's well after 4:20 AM. I've been playing WoW for the past..er...shit...7 hours???
I really, REALLY, wanted to level up. It didn't happen, but I'm close.
I also had the extended version of Fellowship of the Ring on. I like the extended versions cause of the whole book design. I actually just purchased Return of the King a few days ago. Total delay there.
Speaking of LOTR, I was looking for those and another book at the library. Not there. But you know what was there? A man who smelled like he shit his pants. He kept following me around but I was able to loose him with my ninja skill. HAHAHAHA. Shitpants lost!
Must...sleep...
As I'm browsing the library's online catalog for books to borrow, I'm thinking to myself:
"Heh...It's amazing that I can even get books out of the library, what with my germ issues and all. Cause of all the...people...who've...touched the book...which isn't disinfected...and they could have taken it in the bathroom with them.. Oh, maaaaaaan."
I'm ready for a new spill of reading. Of course, I'm into vampires and werewolves at the moment (as in nonfiction books). I might throw in some "Once and Future King" or "The Farthest Shore" if I'm feeling sassy.
And if I'm lucky, I'll actually READ the damn things instead of collecting them.
That is assuming I can get over my newfound fear of library books.
Thanks to Justin Timberlake, I received the following email:
Sender: Sexy's Back
Subject: Is your lingerie drawer filled with granny panties?
(I would also like to thank William, for using my email address and ensuring I'm bombarded with 80-100 spam messages a day. It's a fair trade. Life for spam. I'll get him back. One day. When he's 16 and asks to borrow the car.)
I'm getting really antsy lately. It's only mid-Jan and I'm already stir crazy. There is just way too much shit in my head right now and I have no outlet really. (I don't mean a "talking" outlet...more like "I need something to hit").
I went to the dentist the other day and was told that I would need not one, but two root canals. Never had one before, but based on how I've seen people react, it didn't strike me as a good thing. But you know..I couldn't give a shit about the pain. I've felt freaking pain before. The list of "painful things I've endured" could go on for a bit- although jamming my finger in something is the only one guaranteed to make me curse a whole hell of a lot in very creative ways, which is kinda funny. What gets me about the root canal(s) is the amount of money I'll end up paying out of pocket. I guess I'll find out the real cost Friday morning when I go in for a really overpriced consult with the only endo-dude on the plan. What the hell.
What burns my ass (ha...midget with a lighter) about this whole thing is the fact that it was completely AVOIDABLE if I wasn't so damn unmotivated about finding a dentist when I changed insurance. Now, I'll be up in that dentist office all the damn time.
And if I even so much as look at sugar, I want to slapped upside my head.
But yes, I'm in a funk. I need something to do. Something exciting. I need a freaking adventure of sorts.
Blggherrrpfff. That's the sound I make when I'm in a funk.
*I don't want this year to go as fast as last, funk or no funk.
As dumb as this sounds, this video has some fond memories from back in the day. I completely forgot about it and stumbled upon it just now.
If it wasn't for the "gonads and strife", I doubt I would crack a smile. But gonads and strife makes me giggle...a lot...
God bless him.
