Some theories on what Apple has up its shifty little sleeve now.
- Apple announces more Ping capability to track down where users are at any given second, a la Foursquare, allowing users to adequately stalk each other.
- Itunes has become self-aware, downloading songs it thinks you should have in your collection. Of course, you still have to pay for these songs. Resistance is futile and results in Itunes disabling your iPod and deleting your files.
- Upon realizing that Apple hasn’t had the internet all wound up in a few months, Apple launched this campaign. The only major change is they made the icon a new color.
- Itunes is now in cahoots with law enforcement, and has the ability to determine which of your 9,993 songs were obtained illegally. As long as you continue to make regular purchases from Apple, this list will not be forwarded to the authorities.
- Itunes now has a degree of artificial intelligence built into it. It will debase users based on library content. Ex: “Hey emo, cry today yet?”, “Still having daddy issues, I see.”, “Sorry, I can’t load up your hipster shit right now. Too hung over on PBR.”
- Kanye West has made an exclusive deal with Apple. Only Kanye songs will be available for purchase. HAHAHAHA! Suckers.