This is a movie so unbelievably bad that I had to take notes during it. Yes, spoilers galore. But hey, turn it on Netflix Watch Instantly and suffer along.
* Oh look. The setup. Either she’s being stalked as a teen or she’ll end up fucking nuts.
* WTF? Are these a bunch of late 20s- early 30s trying to pass as 18 yr olds??
* We’ve got the drama stereotype, the whore, the whore lesbian. Missing the token diversity – oh wait, nevermind.
* This soundtrack licks balls. sweaty, smelly balls.
* Ah, this guy lost his brother. We have a connection! A love connection!
* This is ny. Of course there’s a robbery. And of course these two freaks happen to be there.
* New theory – damaged guy is the killer. And his brother was the killer from before.
* Do this many people really go gaga over the white stripes?
* Okay bitch, your sister was killed years ago. Get over it psycho!
* They make drugs for this, I’m almost certain of it.
* Aggh! Crazy handheld camera guy again! How does no one notice this fuckface?
* Gavin has got to be fuckface.
* Ooh text message! How hip! How now!
* Ra is gonna bite it soon.
* Bad guy wears a tie! Oooh!
* Dudes doing dudes enjoy the outdoors? What?
* These people suck at sex.
* This acting is painful. Okay, act confused. Okay, now act angry. Wait, you didn’t change your emotion.
* Uh oh! Creepy shadow. All of the sudden.
* Did 5 mins get edited out of the film? What the hell are they talking about?
* Oooh…valley girl goth. “Okay, in this scene, you are clearly irritated and bored with these people. Yes, feel free to employ every cliche in the book to show the audience that you’re bored.”
* Ooh, a finger. No one panic. Except the crazy chick.
* This script must have been written by a guy…just based on how the “lesbian” character is written.
* What, are they in some space time vortex where it suddenly becomes night?
* Hmmm…a guy and a woman wrote the script.
* The problem with this movie is the lack of ninja kicking. Well, it’s one of many problems. But seriously. Man with knife. Ninja kick. In the nuts.
* “Well. We’ve arrived at the destination. Let’s not look around or anything. No clue here.”
* Yeah, throwing shoes at dogs IS awesome. Dumbass.
* Another question comes to mind…how is sweatshirt guy avoiding blood splatter?
* I forgot who this Gavin guy is and why this chick is so obsessed with finding him.
* When you hear knocking on your trunk, you should NEVER open it.
* FINALLY. A GODDAMN NINJA KICK!
* I love fake technology. And bad guys with the ability to magically show up in places despite the laws of physics.
* I still say Gavin is fuckface. I don’t trust him.
* Well that was predictable.