History of the World – Crowning of Charlemagne

Posted on June 9, 2012 by dangermonkey

The crowning of Charlemagne is one of those fun history facts that gets ingrained into one’s brain after too many years in Catholic school. Christmas Day, 800 A.D. I know what you’re thinking: “Hey, isn’t that supposed to be Pope Leo the no-one-gives-a-shit instead of a monkey pope?” To which I say “Were you there? No? I didn’t think so.” Ooh, burn! I’ve also taken liberties with the presence of a Christmas tree, but then again, I never once claimed to be wholly accurate with my drawings, now have I?

Fun fact about ol’ Charlie: his father’s name was Pepin the Short. I feel like if you’re rocking the name Pepin, you’re not striking fear into the hearts of your enemies to begin with. To add “the short” after it is just rubbing salt into the wound. Does anyone else think we should bring back titles with names? When did that cease to be a thing, and whose stupid idea was it to stop? “Hi, I’m Bob the Fierce, and this is my wife Cindy the Leggy, and our son Peter the Stinky.” I bet it would make it ten times easier to remember someone’s name after that!

History of the World in Stick Figures – The First Thanksgiving

Posted on December 5, 2011 by dangermonkey

It’s been far too long since I’ve done one of these stick figure drawings, but I am totally committed to doing more. (And ignore my previous post talking about my issues with commitment.)

I’m pretty sure all the stories we hear about Thanksgiving are complete bull. I’m sure there was a meal or something involved at some point, but considering the fate of Native Americans in this country, how on earth are we supposed to believe that all parties hung out for some turkey and pie? Then again, there was the Christmas Truce of 1914. If the British and Germans could hang out for a day during a war, surely could the pilgrims and Native Americans, right? Oh, and the monkey of course.

History of the World in Stick Figures – The Fall of the Berlin Wall

Posted on July 11, 2009 by dangermonkey

Finally! An event I was actually alive during! And I think I remember it happening, although I vaguely understood the significance of it all. I remember the Fall of the Soviet Union more clearly cause there was that moment where I thought “dang, now I gotta relearn all that geography”.
But the Berlin wall..that was pretty wild too. I think it was all MTV’s fault.

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Ignore the scared guy on the bottom right. He fears change. Damn commie.

History of the World in Stick Figures – Moon Landing 1969

Posted on July 10, 2009 by dangermonkey

I once had lunch with a former coworker who was a little nutty in the brain. I knew that going into the situation, but I had no idea how nutty he was until, as we were enjoying our respective meals, he began to go into great detail about how the moon landing was faked. I realize this is a rather common conspiracy theory, but that doesn’t mean I think that anyone who believes in a faked landing isn’t just slightly whacked in the head.

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I still think Neil Armstrong must have pushed poor ol’ Buzz Aldrin out of the way to be first. Hell, I know I would.
Interestingly enough, the “first” phenomenon can still be seen in practice today over various websites of the gossip-y nature.

History of the World in Stick Figures – French Revolution

Posted on July 9, 2009 by dangermonkey

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The French Revolution. One of them, anyway. The concept of this picture, and really the concept of this whole approach, was birthed many years ago while I was working a shitty job for a shitty company. Okay not really a shitty job. I got paid ridiculously well to do stuff that wouldn’t advance ANYBODY’s resume. But some of the people there were just complete wastes of space. Bagel obsessed J-crew obsessed wastes of space.
Anyway, my boss was out of town on vacation and I was left in charge of the department. Occasionally, I’d pop in her office for the hell of it. She had a wonderful portable while board and I decided to draw a lovely welcome gift on it. Over the course of the next few days, I’d stop in the office and work on a rather elaborate sketch of the French Revolution…in stick figures.
This drawing is not nearly as elaborate, but it captures the fun of that day. And by fun, I mean chaos and death. So…not fun.

History of the World in Stick Figures – Washington Crosses the Delaware

Posted on July 9, 2009 by dangermonkey

Several years ago, I began fooling around with the idea of depicting events in history by using stick figures. This appeared on the old version of this site, as well as on the photoblog site, but I got too lazy to scan photos so it fell by the wayside. I’ve decided to become non-lazy, and move the feature back to this site. So I’ll start off with the original goodies just for the hell of it.

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Ah, one of the originals. I’d like to think my technique has improved since this one. The oar is kinda sad. And you can tell the guy up front behind George is kinda of a dick. He seems to enjoy this all too much.